My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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