talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
