I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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