some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
