can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize