you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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