I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
