its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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