why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
why is half of my head shaved?
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