Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
