just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
