First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
