she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
