I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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