I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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