I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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