Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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