how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
