Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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