Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
