Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
