why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize