Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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