Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
3 2 1 whiskey
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
