i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
