y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
