Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
