She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
