He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize