Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize