i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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