based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
