You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
