so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
