Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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