Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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