So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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