you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
