I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize