Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
