Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
