I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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