I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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