what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize