I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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