I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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