is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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