so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
