Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
