She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
