Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
whose ass print is on the piano?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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