When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
