Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
