I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize