# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
