I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
