Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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