then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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