I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
