This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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