idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize