Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
