I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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