i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
