Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
