I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
